Advent 2020
It never fails.
Every October, I hit a low.
Personally, October’s are always rough.
Though the leaves change in all their splendour & beauty, it’s the beginning of a season where nature dies. October 2006 marked a deep loss in my life & if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that time is not a reliable healer.
This year marked another traumatic event that triggered passed loss and sent me into a spiral of grief.
A spiral that reminds me of the moments I deeply questioned God's goodness,
and began the, what feels eternal, process of the question "why do bad things happen to good people?"
(Yes, I know. Theologically, it's a terrible question.)
It practically never fails, that even though I hit some low low's in October, which send me spiraling through November and about the week before Thanksgiving - it hits.
I find myself in the pit.
Despair,
dread,
darkness
I know that I can be a pretty dramatic individual, but I'm honest when I say there's severe moments of sadness pre-thanksgiving.
And this is coming from a decently privileged, yoga-instructing, counseling go-ing, supplement taking, holistic health pursuing blah blah blah human.
Grief.
It happens to everyone.
In all different ways.
For all different reasons.
It was 2 weeks ago when I found myself in the pit.
The day before I wrote my most recent blog on "hope"
that I found myself weeping in the fetal position on the floor of my bedroom before I forced myself to get ready for a Friendsgiving gathering.
A week later, I remembered.
"Oh, yes, Advent."
It's as if my October-dreading being subconsciously prepares itself for the divine observance of what we know today as Advent.
I try to observe it every year because, if you had to ask me "what's your favourite holiday?"
I'd say "Christmas."
But what I really mean, is "Advent."
I love the celebration of Christmas, but the celebration is only as big as it's anticipation.
That's why Advent is so dear.
Anticipation.
Hope.
Choosing to believe something through tear stained cheeks, terribly daunting theological questions and a sometimes, heavy heart.
It is Advent, the season and meaning of it, that murders my hopeless spirit, ruins me, and completely undoes me in the most beautiful of ways.
The word “advent” stems from the Latin word adventus meaning “The One who is coming”
As we reflect on Israel’s anticipation for Immanuel, Advent is a season in which we pause to both reflect & remember and also look forward toward what is coming
Within a traditional observance of Advent, 4 candles are on display that generally represent the four weeks of the Advent season leading up to Christmas as well as "the light of God coming into the world through the birth of Jesus Christ"
These four candles represent, in order
hope • peace • joy • love
As we read through the scriptures and observe each week, we recognize and discover our heritage as a people of God is that of a people who wait.
“Perhaps it takes moving through a good deal of chronology to know how thin the world of facts is, how rich the unprovable love which made it all.” -Madeleine L’Engle
In other words, it takes a great deal of time to get comfortable with Divine Mystery
Thy Kingdom come.
Follow @theredwoodscollective on instagram for daily reflections this Advent season
