On my mind Monday… a series

I miss the art of writing.

I miss the art of reading.

More often, I dread the "art" of scrolling.

Instagram sucks..

I've been hearing the phrase(s) more and more

"you look like you're thriving!"

or

"I read how you're doing on the * insert social media platform here *

but, we all know that's not real, right?

Even if we use it for authentic purposes, for vulnerability, for anything other than a highlight reel it still is not a genuine platform for connection.

Connection.

Something growing increasingly thin these days.

Anyways, that's a whole other rant.

I want to start writing again.

There's so much on my mind.

And less and less tables and humans to process with.

(Fuck you Covid!)

I refuse to excuse my language.

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

And I know I'm not the only one.

I'm learning the art of grieving.

This thing of grieving what was lost

and also grieving what still is not

and what might not ever be.

Covid has taken away much from all of us

in some form or fashion

some of us more

some of us less

but no matter who you are or where

this pandemic has forced some sense of change and shift.

Simultaneously, as I grieve

as I let my exhales create space

for deeper inhales

I'm learning about hope.

I recently listened to a podcast that aided in shifting many of my perspectives

and as I listened to Emilie Townes reflect on hope

as she spoke the words:

"you must have hope

because the only other alternative is despair

and then they've won

I was not raised in the theology of despair"

I was not raised in the theology of despair

but the theology of hope

my heart opened wider

and I came back to a space

where my faith grows deeper than fear

and though there are still moments of despair

they are dissipating

i have so many more thoughts on this monday

too many

but hope seems to be a perfectly fitting place conclude.

Wherever you are today

I hope you breathe deep

and create enough space in your heart

to hold both

grief

and especially

hope.

-linds

[pictured: March 16, 2020 the day I pretty much knew I would be losing my job and instead of doing anything else, I put on "dog days are over" by Florence, poured a glass of wine and danced.

Pure, genuine, hope. A picture I'm very grateful for documenting, escpecially on mondays like this one. <3 ]