the journey from victim to victor

"People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses"

-Brené Brown

I'm here to tell you a little story.

An uncomfy one.

But, fear sucks.

And I've always been one to chase down badassery.

The B-zone.

That valley of life where the wilderness dwells.

I find myself there from time to time (often, ugh).

And the pessimistic-Patty side of my self (often, my brain) wants to wallow in that fact and say "we just keep finding ourselves in this place, wHaT dO wE dO?!"

But the brilliant, powerful, badass part of my self (most often, my heart) says "wow, we're masters at getting ourselves out of this messy, dark cave & onto the mountain. Let's show others how to get there, too."

So, I'm here to do just that.

I'm sitting at my thinking desk for the first time in, gosh

several months.

I think I stiff-armed it for so long because it resembles stillness & silence.

Stillness is hard.

Silence is harder.

But, ironically, these two combos mixed together concoct the lovely, sought after potion of

peace and productivity.

(pro tip: something your social media scrolling cannot gift you)

EEK!

I went there.

I digress.

So, in the last several months my ego whispered to my heart and mind and was like "we want a break."

Thus, victim mentality.

Victim mentality has become this nuanced, buzz phrase that we hear all the time, but what does it actually mean?

Victim mentality - the best way I can describe - is when we get caught up in this belief that life happens TO us rather than the belief that life happens FOR us.

When we believe, consciously or subconsciously that we are victims - we give up our control & act as if we are powerless.

Hence, my ego wanting a break.

Victim mentality is very seductive - it gives the ego an excuse to sit back, not change, and refuse any kind of ownership or responsibility in life.

Bummer.

So, how do we break the cycle?

Powerlessness is an illusion and a lie we can sometimes believe about ourselves. But it's important to remember we are always given a choice in life. So when we find ourselves in a victim mindset, we just have to make a different choice, the better choice.

Instead of complaining, try writing out a list of things, people, moments you are grateful for.

Instead of believing that you're in a situation you cannot change, try making small baby steps toward change. If there's a big problem, it's often going to take a lot of little adjustments over time to make a big change.

Instead of opting into pessimism, try surrounding yourself with positivity.

Instead of being reactive to situations, become proactive to life. Life happens FOR you, remember?

When approaching fear, try stepping out and doing the thing scared. This is called bravery and it's badass and wonderful. Unless you're afraid of a grizzly bear or jumping off a cliff - don't chase those fears.

Most importantly, get quiet.

Get still.

Connect with your Creator.

This is a loud world we live in, and anxiety lurks around every corner looking for a victim.

Let's make sure that's not us.

We can come out of the dark cave and wake up to a victor mentality.

This is when life becomes a playground, full of opportunity & swirls (the good kind.)

We can break the illusion that we are powerless, because power is embedded within us.

We have a choice.

So, today I encourage you to take a moment and sit.

Count your successes.

What are your dreams? What excites you?

What gives you passion?

Own your life. Take action.

Open up. Let the light in.

Go live life in victory.

"Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live – but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life."

-Parker Palmer