your story matters

photo cred: Erica Esser Photography

I haven’t blogged in one month.

The Redwoods Collective practically became an orphan blog and it’s all my fault.

My dream, my story— it just sat dormant as I laid in bed scrolling through Pinterest+Poshmark, avoiding any mental/emotional responsibility.

I wish I had a good excuse.

But the reality is, I don’t even have any money. So why the hell did I channel this lack of energy toward an app that requires an actual budget?

A question I may never be able to answer… *insert eye-roll emoji*

I finally sit, staring at this blank Word document and even now, it’s still hard to write.

But I think it’s because I'm afraid to be honest.

I'm still afraid to admit that I am “that girl.”

A few months ago as I prepared for my homecoming from traveling for a year, I remember telling myself:

“I will not be that girl who forgets what God did..”

“I will not be that girl who talks about “the good ole’ days..’”

“I will not be that girl who gets too distracted from social media..”

“I will not be that girl who gets overwhelmed by a 9-5 job..”

“I will not be that girl who stops telling her story..”

I wanted to come back completely and totally changed (perfect.) In the last month, I was every single one of those girls. And I didn’t want to admit it.

But about a week ago I stumbled across some beautiful words that made their way to my heart,

“but I am an Olive tree, thriving in the house of God. I will always trust in His unfailing love.”

Psalm 52:8

After reading those words, I was reminded that despite my failed attempts to achieve some false sense of perfection, I hadn’t thrown in the towel yet in my pursuit of sober joy. And though my love is impatient, inconsiderate, jealous, boastful, proud and rude – His is not. His love is unfailing. His love welcomes me into His home where I can get water and nutrients and dig my Olive roots deep into the depths and thrive.

He invites you, too.

And even though this struggle is real, even though I fail endlessly in my journey of faithfulness, my story is important, because my story points to His endless faithfulness and unfailing love. And if I don’t tell it, no one else will.

So, if The Redwoods Collective would be so kind as to give grace and give me a do-over, this is it.

Here’s to being honest with ourselves and with our stories. Here’s to vulnerability and grace. Here’s to using our minds to dream and our bodies to live them out. Here’s to sharing our stories, in full, not just the glamorous bits and pieces. Because all of it — every damn piece — is important.

Your story matters.

“Come and listen, all you who fear God,

and I will tell you what He did for me.”

Psalm 66:16